You know these days I feel lost. I’m afraid of something and I don’t know what. Soon I’ll finish my college and again I’ll encounter a big transition and maybe I’m afraid of that transition, or maybe I’m afraid that I won’t have what I want. But anyhow whatever maybe the reason, the thing is I’m afraid.
I believe everyone encounter this feeling many times throughout the life.
I shared this thing with someone, I told her that I’m feeling lost and I’m afraid. I asked her,‘What if I mess up everything?’ and ‘What if I won’t be able to achieve what I want?’ and ‘What if I’ll disappoint everyone?’. Well leave everyone, ‘What if I disappoint myself?’, not that I haven’t before!
Then she told me something, maybe not the absolute truth about life, but indeed it made me feel better. I believed in what she said without a doubt. I believed my inner voice.
I talk to myself often, everyone need expert advice. Right?
I guess we all are trying to figure out what we want and how we are going to make that happen.
There are people who have everything figured out(good for them), there are people who never figured it out they go with the flow and then there are few(like me) who know what they want and they know how they can fulfill their wants, but again they are in such a hurry to get there, that sometimes they feel lost and afraid.
Somebody wrote, that there is no “there“. It’s all here and now.
When there are people who are constantly saying, ” figure it out what you want”, “become an adult!”. I think it’s all bullshit, is it not?
I don’t think people ever figure things out. How can you figure things out in a life that is full of uncertainties and changes and opportunities. Tell me how can you?
Why can’t we just entertain the possibilities that are before us and take them as adventures. We get many chances, don’t we? Then why not to take a chance and design your life living in the present and not for something or some time in the future.
I will say if there is a thing that you want to learn, that makes you happy, something that you are passionate about. Do it right now. Believe it future will take care of itself. But do something.
Yes you gonna disappoint a lot of people who love you, but you have to make choices that are good for you, you may take time to discover them(do it, take your time, it’s your life and please don’t compare) and doing so you may counter to what other think you should do. It’s okay.
Throughout your life you will see yourself in many transitions, big or small and there will be this feeling of being lost, of starting it over again. You will come across such feelings for the rest of your life and embracing them will only serve you.
“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in muddy pond, beautiful and strong.”
– Masaru Emoto, Secret Life of Water